Dyok Dyok!

The Aftertaste

leylander — Sat, 15 Jan 2011 05:47:01 +0000

Two gay guys naglakaw sa usa ka mangitngit nga dapit.

Tino: Tita, hunong ra gud kadiyot. Naka panimaho lagi ko ug otin dah.
Janno: Wala ra na Yadz uy, na nug-ab ra gani ko!”

That Smell

leylander — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 05:44:09 +0000

Apo: Lola, sa tuwing umuulan, naaalala kita.
Lola: Ganun ba, apo? Bakit naman?
Apo: Wala lang. Amoy lupa kasi.
Lola: LECHE!

Essay, Essay, Essay

leylander — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 05:41:44 +0000

Teacher: Juan read your 500-word essay in front of the whole class.

JUAN: “My Doggy.” Bow! I have a doggy! My doggy is lost. So, I went outside the house and looked for my doggy! Tokoy, tokoy, tokoy, tokoy, tokoy….. (478 times)

Can’t Help It!

leylander — Tue, 30 Nov 2010 05:38:15 +0000

Juan: Pedro, papasa ko’g Php2 nga load beh. Naa koy textsan importante lang kaayo.
Pedro: (sent PASALoad Php2)
Juan: Thanks. Got it.
Pedro: Amaw! Last piso nana nimo. Ayaw nag reply.
Juan: K!

Wrong Spelling

leylander — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 05:25:00 +0000

Manag-uyab nag-date…
Babaye: Love, gigutom ko.
Lalaki: Unsa may gusto nimo, hamburger?
Babaye: Dili ko ana.
Lalaki: Unsa man diay, sandwich?
Babaye: Layo ra gihapon na sa akong gusto.
Lalaki: Itlog na lang hinuon?
Babaye: Kana, duol-duol na na sa akong gusto.
Lalaki: Utan?
Babaye: Makalagot! Wrong spelling pa gyod!

Tale Of The Tapeworm

leylander — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:46:11 +0000

NURSE: “Mrs., ayaw ka la-in ha. Ka gamay sad sa otin sa imong bana uy. Malipay ka ana?”

ASAWA: “Si Ma’m baya. Mo gilok man gani nang KIGWA, kana pa kaha murang BITOK!”

Irrational Fear

leylander — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 09:40:48 +0000

BANA: “‘Day, kung duna gani mahitabo naku after my operation, ayaw baya gyud pasagdi atong mga anak ha? Love you!”

ASAWA: “Hilum diha, pagka OA gyud nimo. Wa’y namatay sa tuli uy, PISOTA ka!”

Regular

leylander — Wed, 21 Oct 2009 07:36:58 +0000

Contributed by: Jill

Pedring: Doc, regular lagi ko malibang, kada alas 6 as buntag!
Doc: Maayo noon na! Unya unsa may problema?
Pedring: Alas-7 man gud ko tigmatahan.

Itchy Situation

leylander — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:40:28 +0000

Contributed by: Jill

Boy: Nong, nong, Kaluta ra gud ako Likod.. Katol jud kaau. Palihog lang jud nong.
Wolverine: Sure ka dong?

Husband Material

leylander — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 07:36:42 +0000

GIRL: Hu! Hu! Hu! Ginamit mo lang ako! Bakit hindi mo sinabi na may asawa ka na?!
BOY: Aba! Aba! Sabi mo, you’re looking for a husband. Well… I’m a husband!